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We all strive for certainty because we want to feel confident and harness the power of a singular focus. What happens if the certainty we feel is caused because we believe a painful thought? Catherine talks about how we can use certainty for or against ourselves and the struggle of letting go of a thought that undermines our potential.
She also talks about the steps you can take today that will help you dismantle the way in which you create uncertainty so you can show up more powerfully in your business AND your life.
Hey there! Today I am going to talk about how to create certainty. What does the word certainty mean to you? We think of certainty as a positive thing, right? When we feel certain, we feel sure. We need certainty in order to be able to plan and know how to show up in our relationships, our business, and our lives in general. Right now at this very moment as you listen, you might be feeling uncertain about something in your business or your life. And that’s what I want to dive into. How to create certainty.
You can use certainty to work for you or against you, so it’s not like it automatically makes you feel good because it depends on what you are certain about. So let’s take what it looks like when you use it against yourself first.
- You can be certain that you will never lose weight, have a better marriage, or be able to grow your business. But that never feels good because it’s not the result that you want. This state of mind has you feeling like you aren’t in control of your circumstance.
- But what I want you to see here is that you actually DO have a sense of certainty, it’s just not being used in a way that serves you. So then the thought is, well, I just need to change my beliefs.
Before you can create a new more powerful story, you have to be able to disentangle and disengage from the beliefs that are holding you back right now. That can be difficult when the thing that you believed feels very true. One of the definitions of certainty is the quality of being reliably true, especially when backed up with evidence. And I bet you will have a mountain of evidence for whatever it is that you believe right now.
And yet you don’t want it to be true. What you really want is to be able to truly create, without hesitation or doubt, the results you want. You don’t want to have to second guess yourself or indulge in doubt because that will distract you and keep you further away from believing you can achieve your goal. That is why you want to strive to have certainty, so you can keep out all the noise that will cause you to feel any doubt. You know that the way to get what you want is to move forward with a singular focus, not allowing the doubt to creep in and derail you so that you keep starting and stopping.
You CAN find a better, more aligned truth, but because you are really wrestling with your belief, it will take some work. Some mental fitness but yes, it’s always an option. It’s called choice. You have a choice in what you believe and what you believe is based on what you think about on repeat, which means that it’s more in your control than you think. you want to reexamine what you are thinking right now and identify the core belief that is stopping you from going all in.
We are at our best when we have a complete alignment and harmony between our thoughts and our feelings. We don’t want that disconnect because it makes us feel like we have to be dishonest and believe something we don’t really believe and wondering how or if we can actually fake it and hope to make it. And doing things this way takes a lot of mental work because there’s so much contradiction between thoughts and feelings and it sucks up all your creative and productive energy.
It’s frustrating when we think that things could or should be different than they are and we fear accepting our current reality because it’s so far from what we want. Acceptance feels like resignation. But there’s another option, which is to find how to connect what we think, how we feel so that it leads to the result that we want. It’s not about tricking ourselves into different thoughts, it’s about finding the ones that are true and supportive of our goals. Otherwise, there are gaps in your belief. And those gaps create just enough disconnection to allow us to attach to a conflicting thought that matches our mood in the moments that we lose our faith in the on again, off again thought we were desperate to believe.
As coaches, we are trained to see the difference between the circumstances and our thoughts about it and this isn’t always helpful. In fact, it can be especially frustrating because our thoughts feel so true, with all that evidence. Then we want to manipulate our actions to try to get different results and yet results don’t come from manipulation. They come from what we really believe to be true, not what we wish was true.
Let’s say you hit a wall in your business. How you feel will depend on what you think the most. it’s so easy to get hyper focused on the things that aren’t going right or even worse, the things that you think are wrong with you. When you do that though you are just creating more of the same. Gridlock happens in your brain when you default to thinking about what isn’t going right and that leads to more thoughts of what else isn’t going right and what has never gone right and what will probably never go right. When you continue to focus on the things that aren’t working or the things that you don’t know, you are creating the evidence that would lead you to believe that your business is hopeless. But it’s a story that you are telling yourself: That you don’t have what it takes, that everybody else is doing better, and that is what creates a mountain of uncertainty. Not your actual talent or capabilities, but the limiting beliefs that you have attached to.
It’s very ungrounding to think of the things that won’t work because the possibilities are endless. You’re allowing yourself to think about everything that could go wrong instead of allowing yourself the possibility of thinking about everything that could go right. When we think from scarcity, we create more scarcity and that is where uncertainty lives.
So how do you create certainty when you believe that the limiting belief you have is true? That limiting belief is the block from certainty.
- First, you have to take an objective look because you will probably be able to poke holes at it. Come on, do the Byron Katie thing. Ask yourself if it’s true. Then, ask yourself if it’s REALLY true. Oh, that’s when you are harnessing the power of uncertainty in a way that actually serves you. You are asking your brain a very powerful question that is designed to detect if there is any uncertainty about your crappy thoughts. I bet there is. You are starting to shake the foundation of a belief that holds you back.
When you see that foundation crumbling, you are going to open up space to allow other thoughts. We are at our emotional and cognitive best when we focus on what we WANT to do and what we WANT to create.
When we reflect on the things that we are confident about. Practice the habit of identifying thoughts that highlight the positive truths. These thoughts will help inspire you and lead to certainty.
When I am in doubt, I practice the habit of creating certainty. And what this means is not that you have to manipulate yourself into anything. There’s a process involved that takes some personal inner work but it is totally accessible to all of us and it is so powerful.
- You should write your story out and identify it. Once you’ve identified it, you need to look at it from every angle and decide if it’s true. When we see our thoughts written down and feel the emotion it creates, we can be objective and ask if that is how we WANT to feel. If it is not then we are able to look at the whole story we have written down and write a new belief that is even truer and more aligned with my values.
- Try brainstorming multiple perspectives and thoughts you could have as opposed to being stuck with the one you currently feel. This is called Divergent thinking, and you generate creative ideas by exploring many possible thoughts.
Different perspectives that help us feel inspired and creative is exactly why we love self development and motivational speaking. It helps us create different thoughts about the same circumstance and this transforms what we think is possible. This brings up back to certainty and when we act with certainty, we amplify it within ourselves. We see it reflected back to us from others.
What can you do to create certainty today? Think about something that you want to feel better about and see if you can identify the core belief that is creating uncertainty and how you can rewrite that core belief so that it aligns your thoughts and feelings with the results that you want to have.