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Your impossible goals are achievable when you can align your emotions to help you create the results that you want. The natural tendency is to align with the thoughts that hold us back from getting the things we want. With intentional thinking and emotional management, it’s possible to learn from the obstacles that are encountered along.
Listen to today’s podcast to learn the critical steps to help stop feeling discouraged and tap into your higher self instead.
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We set goals as a means to achieve the things that we want. But setting goals goes deeper than that. The psychology behind setting goals is that it is a way of creating and affirming our identity.
According to an article in https://positivepsychology.com/goal-setting-psychology studies have shown that when we train our mind to think about what we want in life and work towards reaching it, the brain automatically rewires itself to acquire the ideal self-image and makes it an essential part of our identity. If we achieve the goal, we achieve fulfillment, and if we don’t, our brain keeps nudging us until we achieve it.
In order for that to become true, it means that you need to protect your mindset as you work on your roadmap to achieve your impossible goal. It makes the difference between wanting to feel nudged to go toward it rather than being discouraged from it.
If you think of setting and achieving goals as not only a way to achieve or acquire things, but a process that helps us decide how we see ourselves and the beliefs we create in the process, you will absorb the real meaning of goal setting, which is so that we create fulfillment and a positive self image.
The one thing that we live with and always return to is how we feel about ourselves and this impacts our contribution, participation, and sense of belonging. We want to feel like we make a difference and that what we have to say is important and that’s not coming from a place of ego but from a place of contribution. That means how we think about ourselves is crucial. How we set and achieving goals creates our personal narrative and that narrative determines the quality of our lives.
How do you feel about the term “impossible goals”? Does it excite you? Does it wear you out before you even get started? Does it make you feel empowered or unsure?
Think about your impossible goal. Here’s my guideline on how you know if you have a workabout impossible goal: think about what you would want if you believed that you could have whatever it is your mind dreams up and if you were willing to do the work you think it will take to achieve this goal. That doesn’t mean that you have the necessary skills right now, but it means you are willing to do the work to have developed them. That’s more important than anything. That’s how you believe in yourself and believe that you can get the results you want. Why not? Why not you?
Finding that sweet spot between what you want and what you are willing to do to get it, these two things will help you get energetically aligned. Only you can determine how much work you are willing to put into it. It’s not as if you know the work that it will take right now, but perspective is everything.
Now that you’ve established the goal that you feel challenged and excited about, let’s think about the purpose of a goal. Here’s what the goal is: it’s the way to establish the direction that you want to go and a reference point for the distance between where you are now and where you want to be. It gives you a destination that will be the way that you know you have succeeded in what you set out to do. Once you’ve set the direction of your goal, it has more teeth when you use the goal to create urgency and focus. It should not create desperation, which comes from scarcity thinking. You can’t reach impossible goals effectively with desperation, either. You want to create the kind of urgency that helps you dial in your efforts and focus.
- Write the steps to your goal: this is the initial roadmap. You will convert your thinking from thinking about the end result to thinking about being process oriented. Understand that since all you are planning is from your thoughts in your current state of pre-experience, you are planning from the perspective of someone who hasn’t stepped into the obstacles with an unproven plan. You are coming at this with a pure mind and even if you intellectualize that it’s going to be hard and you may feel nervous or sick, you are also creating this from how you are thinking about it as the person on the pre-goal side, not the post-experience side. It might not be as hard as you think, it might not be as terrifying while the plans are in motion, and it might not be as quick as you hope that it will be. There may be bridge steps that need to happen to reach the goal. Plan loosely but hold the goal tightly.
- Start testing. You are building the roadmap and the way you get one that works isn’t because you knew it would work before you started it, but because you built it because you keep what works and you learn from what doesn’t so that you can create a different next step. This requires trust, but it’s not trusting in a way that suggests blind faith in something “out there”. It requires faith in your resiliency and ability to get the support you need. Trust the process. Trust that you are good enough. Trust that you will future it out. If you don’t believe these things, you will experience a concurring crisis of identity as you navigate the challenges of an online business. This will divide your mind, your energy, your emotions, and your focus. Here’s how to help cushion yourself against any negative self-talk.
- Look at what you’ve already created, already decided. Do not tell yourself there’s nothing because there is. There’s a decision, a goal, and a desire. Get into an abundance mindset. Look at the results you have created and develop appreciation for who you’ve been up to this point and what you’ve accomplished. Rather than continuing to focus on everything you haven’t done yet, focus on the things you think it will take to get you there and be kind to yourself.
- Write down the resources that you already have that will support you in achieving your goal.
- Realize you are already creating the moment you make a decision. You are creating ideas that make you feel doubt and frustration or hopeful and self-assured. You are creating your experience with your mind.
- You will either achieve your goal or you won’t. Either is ok. It’s either an affirmation or a nudge, right? In order to make sure it’s a nudge forward and not a course to get derailed, play close attention to your emotional well-being.
- DO NOT BEAT yourself up for not making the goal. This is where you are mining for the limitations. You WANT to see what they are so that you can smooth them out and live in the art of becoming. It’s like when you go to the gym and you work out to build muscles. They haven’t been flexed before and the next stage is that you’ve torn all the fibers and now they have to rebuild and what happens? You are sore! But being sore is GOOD. It tells us how hard we worked out and that we DID put ourselves out there. Continuously take the next best action. Abundance versus scarcity. It’s about figuring out the actions that work and don’t work.
- If you didn’t achieve what you wanted:
- Break the goal down even further to micro-steps that make it feel attainable. Check in, too: what is repelling you from the steps you need to take? Look at your thoughts and test their merits. Just because something does not come easily, naturally, and faster to you does not mean that it’s not possible. It just means it doesn’t look the way you thought it would when you didn’t know anything about it. Can you see how you are now more qualified because you understand that it will take more work than you originally thought because you learned what doesn’t work and you learned that the timeline must be adjusted?
- You MUST journal and self-coach. You simply must. And when you journal, the goal is NOT to use your thoughts and experiences against yourself, trying to prove why everything is so terrible. There’s a difference in journaling raw emotions for honest expression and journaling to stroke and validate unhelpful thoughts. Just check your intentions and you will know the difference. The most effective self coaching and journaling strives to process emotions, see all the areas in which you can take more control and reset intentions. It’s not to prosecute yourself, it’s to nurture and protect that inner desire that is fragile. It’s sitting with disappointment in a compassionate way, not a “I told you so” way. YOU are a work of art in the making and YOU should NOT sabotage your own baby efforts. You are a precious seedling that deserves the moon, sun, and stars.
- Write down the daily wisdom I get from my future self. Tap into the future you energy daily. Every morning, let your future self bridge the gap from who you are now to who she or he is. This is powerful and it makes you realize that you have access to not just the part of you that wants to be in doubt when things don’t work out, but you also have access to the part of you that knows you can be the person that can make it happen.
- Don’t be in a hurry. Being in a rush is going to create emotions that don’t create the calm you need.
- Don’t go into how, it will only block you. When you start thinking of how, you get bottlenecked. When you look at the process and think of how, you will create pathways.
5. Revisit your impossible goal Does it feel like a good balance of tension between achievable and challenging? That’s good. Does it feel like you would have to work disproportionately hard to convince yourself that you can do it? You might want to rethink it because your energy is better spent achieving a smaller goal that baby steps you to the belief than spending your time cheerleading yourself to a belief. Action creates belief and momentum, so you can build on successes. Remember the path to impossible goals is paved with smaller achievable goals that point you in the right direction.
6. Now, Assess your emotional response. Does this move you toward or away from what you want? Decide how you want to feel about it. Think as the person who wants to accomplish this goal and check in for guidance with the version of you that has accomplished the goal. Goals help you to believe in your ability to create and achieve what you want. In the last podcast, I talked about how you need to talk to the future version of you. This is the one that has it figured out. It’s actually you in your highest state, using a perspective that isn’t clouded with doubt. Put yourself in the feelings state. How do you want to feel as you move toward the goal, as you stumble, and as you make small wins? As you make big wins? I write down quotes from my future self to fuel my present self. Here are some examples:
7. Attain the goal. This happens after the roadmap has been created and revised. It is inevitable when you stay focused on the process.